hi — the paper is already written. i just need corrections made and information

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hi — the paper is already written. i just need corrections made and information added or adjusted based on the comments on the right hand side or the red colored ones in the paper.  i received a grade for it already and not too happy with it and with the corrections and also makeing sure info is accurate and taking some out, i think i can score higher. thank you and please ask for any clarification

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