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I received professor’s comment.
Read his comment and revise the essay that we’ve worked on.
Comment:
“This is a good draft. Please add your transitions. Also, remove the bolding and italicize any additions 1. Reread the prompt. 2. Emphasize how you changed. 3. The final paper must have a title. 4. Your introductory and concluding paragraphs should explain both the writer’s experience and your own. 5. Try to expand your voice within each paragraph by paraphrasing some of the quotes in your paper. 6. Italicize your additions. 7. Add transitions where appropriate. * 8. Lastly, add one or two paragraphs linking your essay to a primary value, such as Life, liberty, happiness (self-direction), health, family, economic stability, etc. You may add or amend your introduction and conclusion to include these ideas. *Add transitions where appropriate.
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