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According to self-psychology, it is important to assess our
clients’ emotional attachments, because the foundation for the development of self-rests
within these attachments (Berzoff et al., 2016). A strong sense of self can
only develop from the empathy offered in relationships. This happens when one
experiences consistent attunement from others and has others reflect and mirror
their strengths, characteristics and talents. Relationships with others can
also contribute to feeling a sense of sameness to others, which leads to a
feeling of belonging and security. Merging with another in a balanced way can
also contribute to a healthy sense of self. Without these varied experiences
that emerge from relationships, an individual will have a vague sense of self.
This can contribute to various challenges in life. Healthy relationships
are therefore necessary for positive mental health and psychological growth
throughout the lifespan. As such, in order to have a full understanding of the
client’s sense of self and overall wellbeing, it is important to understand the
nature of the client’s attachment relationships.
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We learn about our clients’ attachment styles through a
combination of methods, including clinical observations, exploration and the
use of interpretation (Flaherty, 2024). Clinical observations, such as
behavioral patterns, symptoms and emotional responses, can provide valuable
insights into clients’ attachment styles and coping mechanisms. For instance,
clients with anxious attachment styles may exhibit behaviors indicative of
their attachment style, like expressing a strong desire for reassurance and validation,
or becoming anxious or distressed when the therapist is unavailable or
perceived as distant. Conversely, clients with avoidant attachment styles may
display behaviors associated with emotional distancing or avoidance, such as
maintaining physical distance, or reluctance to express vulnerability or their
emotional needs. Moreover, exploring early life experiences and past and
current relationships can inform our understanding of clients’ attachment
styles. Exploring clients’ early life experiences, family dynamics and
relationships with primary caregivers can uncover significant attachment events
(Brandell, 2010; Simpson & Rholes, 2000). Simpson & Rholes (2000)
suggest that questions about caregiving for attachment theory should be
centered around: “(a) identifying the motivation for caregiving, (b)
findings a place for emotion within caregiving, (c) describing the nature of
attachment and caregiving bonds, and (d) providing an explanation for
caregivers’ responsiveness and sensitivity” (p. 116). Further, exploring
clients’ past and current relationships, including friendships, romantic
relationships and familial dynamics, can reveal recurring patterns, as well as
attachment-related conflicts or behaviors. Other uses of interpretation can
also be explored through transference and countertransference dynamics to
reveal underlying attachment patterns (Flaherty, 2024). For instance, clients
may unconsciously recreate past attachment dynamics within a therapeutic
relationship, ultimately providing insights into their attachment style.
Overall, gathering information through various methods can help practitioners
develop a more nuanced understanding of clients’ attachment styles and tailor
interventions accordingly to meet their unique needs.
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